Unobserved

The moment is coming.

I know it will be fleeting, but weeks of preparation have gone into this and I will hold onto these few seconds for years.

The bags previously stores in the boot of my car were thrown away miles back. The ID was burned in a service station bin. I pulled into a hairdresser in a town so small that I don’t believe it extended even one layer away from the highway. I asked for something new. I wonder if I will like it when I next look at myself.

I have pulled over at a crossroads. The road here is blanketed in red dust, then occasional vehicle kicking up clouds of the stuff. It is perfect.

It has been five minutes since I last saw a car drive past. I have kept watch over the four directions the crossroads go. The small cloud will soon disappear out of eyesight, and so I will be alone.

I will, for one moment, be completely unobserved. I will be only myself.

I cannot guess how long that moment will stretch. Perhaps it will be hours before someone new comes down this road. It could be seconds. It could still be interrupted, I remind myself as I scan the horizon again.

It is time. The last car is gone and I am alone.

I smile brightly in that moment. I am nowhere and no one and I am myself.

I wonder how long this moment will last – when will the next car pass? When will I become a part of the world again, even if only in a stranger’s periphery?

For now I am by myself. I look at my reflection in the car’s rear windshield as I push it off the road. It is a vision only I will ever see. I wonder what direction the new me will take? Who will pick me up and how long will it take to realise that their passenger is gazing at them with their own smile?

The car rolls down the hill, the memories of a five-year life going with it. It is time for a fresh start as someone new.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s