Baking on Demand

I’d like to tell you about the worst cake I’ve ever baked. Probably best not to look if you’re uncomfortable with blood, teeth and sweet, delicious Frankensteined fondant flesh.

I run a facebook group where I post cakes with threatening auras. These can be either deliberate or unintentional. To celebrate hitting a milestone for members, I proposed that I would bake a cake, with the features to decided by vote. The top results were the following:

  1. Teeth
  2. Fleshy colour palette
  3. Blood
  4. All of the above but a Minion cake

Honestly the minion part was the worst for me. Here’s my process for creating a cake so terrible that the question “cake or death?” yields 50/50 results.

Hopefully this is more useful visually than as full steps. I didn’t take photos at each stage.

I first baked two serves of chocolate sponge. I iced between the layers with chocolate buttercream, chilled it for an hour, then carved the general shape
I added a crumb coat and made the eyes from leftover buttercream and crumbs from carving the mouth
I added a final layer of buttercream with red dye, so that it would show beneath the fondant
I add the fondant piece-by-piece to fill in the face. I found it easiest to place large pieces randomly, then fill in the gaps. It also helped me balance the skin tones, which I made sure to vary
I added the overalls in a single layer and added red fondant as blood
I painted between the cracked with red food dye, and added the teeth as a last step
I made small grooves for the teeth with a blunt tool, then pushed them into place with the same, giving them a concave look

Overall, I was happy with how terribly this turned out. I promise the next post will be a more aesthetically pleasing treat

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