A Shadow

She was alone at last.

She made herself dinner, not realising her every move was surveilled. She took her plate to the lounge room and the figure darted from the darkness, snatching scraps left on the kitchen floor.

She went to the bedroom and removed clothes that felt heavy with the day’s spent energy. Walking nude to the bathroom, she didn’t hear the figure slink behind her into the bedroom, smelling the discarded items of clothing. Burying itself within them.

She slid the bathroom’s pocket door shut and turned on the shower. Stepping in, she didn’t hear the claws on the other side of the door.

They found purchase after a desperate flurry, pulling the door to the side. The creature was so keen for entry that it didn’t wait until the gap was wide enough.

The nose was through first, twitching at the steam. Then the mouth, all bared teeth as the edges of the door pulled its lips back. Then the eyes, immediately seeking the woman. It sat, unobserved on the bath mat, waiting to be acknowledged.

It waited until the shower stopped and the door finally opened.

“Oh! for fu-… hello, you little weirdo”

The cat purred.

Cats Cake

It’s been a while.

I have been settling back in Australia, reuniting with loved ones and trying to get back to working and living. It has been a huge adjustment, but it’s time to pick up the writing/baking/sketching mantle once again.

With no further ado: remember the Cats movie? It was the last movie I saw before the UK went into lockdown. It was a surreal experience and a great way to make sure I didn’t miss the movies at all. Or cats.

But then my horrible cake group got 10,000 likes around the time a dear friend wanted to watch Cats for her birthday. The choices for the cake rolled in:

  1. Fur.
  2. Teeth.
  3. Meat.

So it was time to killed two birds with a badly-scaled stone.

Step one: Carve Batman’s screaming face. Make sure this layer does not contain blueberries, because the eyes will bleed.

Step two: Hide the shame. Cover it with icing and pray God’s judgement cannot penetrate buttercream.

Step three: Flesh.

Step four: Let them emerge.

Step five: Let them see. Let them breathe. Do not listen to what they may whisper.

Step six: Teef.
Step seven: suddenly remember that one weird cake sculpting tool you have. What could it be for, other than fur? Was it always intended for this? Was it there before now?
Step eight: Take it to the party. Introduce them to everyone.
What a horrible night to have a cake.