For her birthday, he gave her flowers
With a glass vase to place them in
But she reminded him of her hay fever
And he threw the shards in the bin

For their anniversary, it was chocolate
She placed it on the shelf
She had always been allergic
So he ate it all himself

For Valentines it was a book
That she had already reviewed
She had told him about it years ago
An article he said he’d viewed

For his birthday she gave whisky
His favourite drink, she knew
She encouraged him to drink it all
And an old dependency renewed

For their anniversary it was a laptop
With all the newest software
And hidden in the hard drive
Were sordid details of his affairs

For Valentines it was dinner
With ingredients made covert
She worried she’d used too little
Until his heart stopped before dessert